don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
