Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
