How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
