when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
