I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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