god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Randomize
