The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
