1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
