he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
