You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
