i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize