let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
