i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
