i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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