apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
