It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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