if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
