There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
