Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You pole danced in your parka.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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