I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
