I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
