dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
