his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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