put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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