Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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