I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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