I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
