Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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