Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize