once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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