haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I understand Curling. That high.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
