Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We need to feng shui this bitch.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
