you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm passing your future prison.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
