Im at strip club and am horny
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
