party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
