They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
