yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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