Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
