Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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