What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My bed smells like the plague
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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