How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
