You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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