What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
