We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
