Your face is a jimmy john
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize