do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
