My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
