i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
