hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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