it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
