Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize