i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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