Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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