my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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