My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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