Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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