it hurts more in the daytime
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
