rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Someone came in the potted fern
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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