going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
