did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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