used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
