week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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