Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
