my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
