My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
