im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
