9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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