There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
