My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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