What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
