Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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