He is an equal opportunity slut.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
