My room smells like vodka and shame
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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