I smell stomach acid.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
