so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
