Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
