Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
