True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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