wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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